Life IS Survivable

In November (2011) I was hired part time at a wholesale floral distributor.  It is a small family company that has been in business for 3 generations.  I have recently completed my 90 trial period and I'm still there.  The hardest part of the job is getting there by 6 AM Monday through Saturday and no benefits.

I remember being 7 year old when Grandpa built his "new offices".  He took me with him to this company to get Gardenia corsages for all of the women who came to his open house.  It made an impression on me for a few reasons but mostly because it was the first time I got to go with Grandpa alone (without my older brother) on an errand.

About the same time I began teaching on an independent contractor basis at JoAnn's.  I feel more apreciated that when I was employed as a "scissor drone".  There are still problems with communications and getting paid in a timely manner.  This may not last if the problems continue. 

I still have to "plan" all expenses.  Just when you think you are getting ahead a tiny bit that is the week that both the computer died and the engine light came on in the car.  The car took all but 50 cents of the paycheck and the computer took the whole savings.  These expenses were NOT in the "plan".  However, both were essential to replace/repair immediately to keep me in business.

As of February, I am no longer in arrears with my property taxes.  Even so, I signed up for the monthly payment plan so it is a little easier to take.

Mom turned 80 last month.  Her best gift was that we were able to have all of her kids together to take her to dinner.  I got to the restaurant first.  I told them of the occasion.  They sprinkled red rose petals all over the table and gave her a free dessert.  The present she didn't get (yet if at all) was her desire to go skydiving.  We want her doctor to approve it first.  Even so, I will NOT join her in jumping out of a perfectly good plane.  IF I ever skydive it will be because I have no other choice to survive.

My sister is getting married next month.  We are happy for her because he treats her so well.  I can tell you she dated a string of "peter pans" that didn't treat her with respect.  I'm glad she waited for her prince.

My quilt guild's biannual quilt show was March 23 & 24.  I was vendor/door prize chairperson.  We had fewer vendors than preferred but we had so many more paid attendees than anticipated.  As door prize chairperson, we make a "giveaway thingy" that they can open to find out if they won or not.  This show I made 340 needle books.  This is also how we count paid attendance.  The previous show we had just under 200 so I thought we had enough needle books... we ran out with about 2-1/2 hours to go.  It was a great show but exhausting.  I went into a 12 hour "sleep coma" that night (after take down).

Dear Everyone,

It has been a long time since I have posted.  I apologize.  It has been very difficult for me.  The job that was supposed to go permanent was a victim of the budget cuts by both federal and state governments.  The grant that supported about 75% of their income was cut by 45%.  Since my last day with them (June 24^th):

·         I broke 2 teeth on the way home that day

·         I have worked 5 days in temporary assignments  

·         I have been sending out an average of 10-12 resumes/applications per day

·         I have gone to every job fair I have heard about and only gotten 2 interviews

This is a sad commentary on the economy and how our “recovery” is progressing. 

I’m sad to say that depression has been lurking behind every corner as I see the slower season upon us for my own products.  I am also out of plastic for cutting, out of the 2 most popular sizes, and out of the means to get more plastic and cuttings.  I have been feeling like the budget cuts also caused fate to turn off the light at the end of the tunnel.  Please pray it gets turned back on.

What Have I Been Up To?

Thank you for all the birthday wishes from many of you by e-mail and facebook.

Two weeks ago was my last day at the temporary assignment that was promising to go permanent. This was a job I loved doing. It just wasn't to be after the governmental budget cuts reduced their grant funding by 35%. At that time they called me and the other temp into the office and told us how much they wanted to keep us both on permanently but... However, I understand they just hired a new temp from a different agency (maybe lower rate) and combined both the jobs as one. I would have liked them to call me back (I'm already half trained) even if it were a lower rate. I was still available. Oh well. I sometimes wonder what God has planned that I don't know about yet.

During the two weeks off I celebrated my birthday, helped my friend finish a quilt top (& took it to her favorite machine quilter), and a 2 days temp job wrapping 500 "For Sale By Owner" signs for mailing. I went out to eat most days last week using a different birthday coupon for free meals or as a birthday treat with a family member or friend.

Today I got a new temp assignment for 1 week of data entry that I start tomorrow 8 am. I will try to keep you posted. Not sure what to expect. It is "near the airport" but from looking at the map nothing else.

M is Coming Home Today

This time has been a long 5 weeks.  M is finally coming home today. They think they got his meds in balance.  I pray M takes them all as prescribed and doesn't add anything else.  His cat will be so happy to see him.

I left him a freezer full of home cooked food in individual portions.  He likes my lasagna so I made a batch but layered it into 3 disposable meatloaf pans.  an average person should get 3 servings out of each loaf.  He also has 5 Chicken w/ bow tie pasta, a couple bags of vegetable soup, Marinara sauce, and Alfredo sauce. The soup and sauces came from leftovers throughout the 5 weeks.

Well off to work. 

Long Haul…

Since Easter I have not posted as I promised myself when beginning this blog.  I think my ideal was a bit lofty and yet the goal was there to blog about life… my life. 

M is still in the hospital being cared for and meds tweaked.  We are not sure at this time when he will be able to come home.  Some of the extracurricular things he smoked, drank… etc. may have done more damage to a fast recovery than dreamed of.  It is part of the illness.  When he feels good he wants to “party” and that doesn’t mix with meds.

Mom started out by leaving an upper window open just enough for the cat to be able to get “in & out”  via the roof of the house.  This stopped quite abruptly when I went over to take in the mail on a dark rainy evening when Mom couldn’t.  I noticed something amiss but couldn’t quite put a name to it.  So I grabbed the cat while I double checked all of the doors.  (Don’t know if I was planning to throw the cat at anyone.)  When I got back to the kitchen to refill the food bowl we came face to face with the intruder.  Through his masked he glared at us and then it was a brief second before the last of his ringed tail was outside the window.  Yes, Rocky Raccoon had gained entry from the roof through the open window and was scavenging cat food.  I slammed that window shut and locked it then called Mom to let her know we have to go over daily.

Now Mom goes during the day, lets the cat out and brings in the mail if it is there.  I go after work to let in the cat (mail if necessary).   I’ve been spending extra time playing and being company for him. 

Yesterday was a particularly bad day for M.  His ex-wife and kids live in the NE corner of Oklahoma and she works in a hospital in Joplin.  We are fortunate that when we finally got a return call from her (6 pm Monday), she reported all of the family was alright and the power was back on at home.  She works in “the other” hospital in Joplin but they were busy tending to transferring a large number of patients from the hospital that was hit by the tornado plus any other ER & Trauma patients. 

Please add the people affected by the tornado to your prayers.  The Red Cross, as well as other organizations can really use donations of blood, manpower and funds.  Please do what you can.

Life is Good (right now)

I will be working my last shift at the retail store tomorrow.  Easter was my breaking point.  I got to Mom's to pick her up for Easter brunch buffet with the whole family (M was in full mania).  Knowing the stress of trying to work 2 jobs to be able to maintain my Quilt Patis business coupled with family responsibilities/crisises, I was in tears.  I told her "I just can't do it all any longer."

After brunch M decided to make the move to go to the hospital for his "tune up" and I decided I needed to assess my life too.

• Retail job:  promises no advancement and highly stressful (IMHO due to constant understaffing and severe lack of communication).
• Temp job:  staff and management wonderful, respectful, communicates well… I feel valued.  Promises opportunity of turning permanent. 
• Quilt Patis:  my passion and has promise as long as I can otherwise support myself in the lean seasons.
• Family:  I love them even though I don’t like the stresses involved… but we are never promised life would be easy… I won’t divorce them.

When it comes right down to it the decision was easy.  I wrote my resignation that evening.  From that moment on I felt relax.   I actually wrote two resignations.  One gave an ending date and the other substituted the date with the word "immediately".  I had plans to switch out letters if there was any trouble with the manager accepting my resignation. There was a little resistance but not to the point I needed to do the switch.

In the two weeks since, I received an e-mail telling me that one of the trade magazines will be doing an article about me and my Butterfly Pincushion Pin Kits.  They also are giving me a Saturday to demo my technique at the Creative Festival in Cincinnati the 3rd weekend in June.  Then today I got 11 of the signed original (finished) butterflies in a local art gallery on consignment.  She priced them at $34.00 each. If you are in Columbus and would like to purchase one and see all of the other wonderful things she is showcasing this is the gallery... Galleria Evangelia, 4269 N. High St., Columbus, Ohio,  614-354-6557, www.galleria-evangelia.com .

So, with the help of prayer and faith the journey continues.

Update on M

After 3 weeks of full manic episode complicated with severe depression and fueled by recreational no-no's (beer, pot & pills of undisclosed origin) M had a grand finale with Easter buffet at a local oriental restaurant.  At the end of the stressful meal he announces "I quit taking my meds over holidays" and then "I'm ready to go in now" (mental hospital).  First they sent him to the medical hospital over night to observe and test to find out what recreational drugs he had taken. By the time I got off work he was back at the mental hospital to get his meds and sleep back on track.

M has been on nearly every form of meds used to treat Bi-Polar disease until they either quit working or start to become toxic to his body.  I worry that they will run out of choices of meds to use.  Even with these worries I am breathing easier knowing he is getting the help he so desperately needs.  I believe in the power of prayer so I welcome any that my readers may offer up.